


Cloudy Days

by SoulOfStars



Category: Diabolik Lovers
Genre: Crack, Gen, Good Luck @ Readers, I'm Sorry, Mari Will Protect Yui, Takoyaki, This Is STUPID, Yui Is Baby, this fandom is kind of lacking on ao3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2020-12-01 21:36:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20906195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulOfStars/pseuds/SoulOfStars
Summary: “Free Vacation Home!” was practically begging to be called a scam, but one of her friends had sent her the link, so she’d taken it at face value. As soon as she got out of this place, Mari knew she would be beating someone’s ass.Or, Mari is about to prank the everloving hells out of the Sakamaki brothers.I saw that AO3 had a major lack of trashy crackfics for this fandom, so I obviously had to fill the gap with this absolute train wreck of a fic. Have fun!





	1. Mari Erdem Realizes She's In Deep Shit

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @soulofstarstungl !

Mari Erdem opened her eyes and sighed. Well, shit. The walls were still pink and the canopy above her was also still pink. She’d hoped that yesterday had been a dream, but apparently not. She sighed again, sitting up and looking down at her flimsy nightgown in disgust. 

_Vampires_. What a fucking joke. 

She’d learned her lesson about accepting sketchy offers, she supposed. After all, “Free Vacation Home!” was practically begging to be called a scam, but one of her friends had sent her the link, so she’d taken it at face value. As soon as she got out of this place, Mari knew she would be beating someone’s ass. She cracked her knuckles, then practically jumped out of her skin when someone chuckled next to her. 

“Fufuf—_guh_,” Laito started, then promptly found himself on the floor after getting kicked with every ounce of Mari’s strength. 

“What the absolute mc_fuck_ are you doing in my bed?” She hissed, pissed as hell and looking like she’d rather do nothing more than kick him again. Laito flashed her a nervous smile, his regular charm failing him in the face of her rage. 

“Reiji sent me to make sure that you were ready for school.” He picked himself up from the floor and dusted himself off with a casual grace that would make a ballerina jealous, regaining his wits and smirking at her in a way that made her feel like her skin was itching. Mari glared at him for a moment, then glanced out the window. 

She’d gotten to this gods-forsaken mansion early in the day, so there was no way she’d slept until morning unless they drugged her. Aaaaand, it was night time. The moon was out, even. Of course. She’d already encountered vampires, so there may as well be a school that operated at night. Just dandy. To add onto that, considering her luck—

“There’s a uniform, isn’t there.” It wasn’t a question. Laito gestured towards the skirt and blazer sitting innocently on an armchair across from the bed. The uniform probably included some stupid little bowtie. In fact, Mari was willing to bet the entirety of her life’s savings on it. She heaved another sigh, shuffled out of bed, and started undressing. 

“Fufu~ Not that I don’t appreciate the show-” She glared at him with so much pure hatred in her eyes that his mouth clicked shut. Did he think she cared? Her body was nothing special, and it wasn’t like this motherfucker was human, anyhow. She busied herself with the clothes, ignoring the vampire, and when she turned back to the door, he was nowhere to be seen. Mari rolled her eyes. Now, what to do with this little bowtie? A grin grew on her face as she beheld the scissors sitting innocently on the nightstand. 

Uniform in place and scraps of bowtie stuffed in the pants drawer (not the panties; that perverted asshole would probably go through those), she made her way to the door, musing over the events of the day before as she walked. This really was some anime shit, wasn’t it? Almost every one of the “brothers” had different hair colours, they went to a night school, had essentially kidnapped her, and were vampires to boot. Actually, she was willing to bet that, as soon as she opened this door, she’d come face to face with the most morally upright one. 

Mari opened the door and came face to face with one Subaru Sakamaki, his fist already raised to knock. _Bingo._ She gave him a smile and straightened the tie she’d fashioned from the shitty bowtie. He didn’t return her smile.

“Car’s this way,” he said shortly, dislike clear on his face. Internally, she sighed. Was she wrong? Maybe she shouldn’t let one too many Vampire!AUs skew her perceptions. On the other hand, there were practically neon signs pointing out the fact that she was being set up in some awful harem-type situation. 

_Vampires_, really! 

Why was their mansion so huge, anyway? Ha, actually, maybe it was to contain their giant egos. She snorted, ignoring Subaru when he glanced at her. Briefly, Mari wondered what it would take to make them send her home. They’d probably kill her before that, but if she managed to convince them that she’d only come back as a ghost and make their lives a living hell from the grave, they might actually let her leave. 

When they reached the main stairs, she caught sight of the other girl she’d seen only in passing. Yui. Mari clenched her fists Arthur-style and took a deep breath. She’d only met Yui yesterday, but Yui was Actually Baby™, and Mari would protect her with everything she had. 

The two shared a Nod of Companionship™, then Yui started walking down the stairs with Subaru only a step behind her. Mari shook her head. With a banister like that, why bother with the steps? She pulled herself up onto it, positioned her legs, and swept down the railing at a breakneck pace _just_ as the doors opened to admit Reiji. _Fuck,_ Mari thought. _At least I died in a fun way._

“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice was like a whip as Mari hopped off the banister at the bottom. _Goodbye, Cruel World,_ she thought mournfully. “And _what_ did you do to your uniform?” She pursed her lips, tucking her hands behind her and ducking her head to appear bashful. 

“Oi, hurry up, I’m getting tired of waiting,” Ayato called loudly, saving her from any further rebuke, though Reiji’s eyes practically promised punishment. They shuffled into the car one by one, the vampires settling into their spots while Yui and Mari were left to their own devices in the corner of the limousine. 

“Yeehaw,” Mari muttered to Yui, who stifled a laugh. 

_What had she gotten herself into?_


	2. Takoyaki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayato pulls Mari out of maths class and demands that she make him some takoyaki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @soulofstarstungl

Somehow, she hadn’t expected this “night school” to have a kitchen. 

Was she at all surprised when one of the red headed assholes pulled her into the school kitchen and demanded that she cook for him? A little, but only at the fact that there was a kitchen at all. Whatever this particular one’s name was—Ayato?—had practically kidnapped her in the middle of maths class, and he was now jabbering on about takoyaki. Mari quietly resigned herself to a school year of self study. 

“Oi! Are you listening to me?” Mari blinked in his direction, and his eye twitched. “I. Want. You. To. Make. Ta-ko-ya-ki,” he said, slowly, as though she were a small child. She blinked again, then shrugged and turned to find a takoyaki pan and the ingredients she needed. Food was food, after all. 

Yui joined them after the bell. Mari was Wary™ that more vampires might show their stupid fangs, but none of the other “brothers” came to see where they’d disappeared to. Ayato was still a Grade A Asshole, but at least he was good company while he was eating his way through takoyaki. Yui and Mari chatted while they ate, Mari occasionally adding some batter to the pan to make more. 

“You didn’t know you were adopted?” Mari gaped at Yui, highkey concerned. Yui stared down at her food, chewing her lip. _She’s Actually Baby And I Must Protect Her_, Mari thought. 

“I had no idea. And the diary I picked up was completely blank in the morning, like someone had wiped all the pages blank!” Yui burst out, her brow furrowed. Mari put a hand over her mouth, swallowing the bite she’d taken so she could reply, but Ayato’s snickering caught her attention. 

“You really thought we had somehow erased all of the pages? Subaru gave you too much credit. Obviously, we switched the diary with an identical blank one,” Ayato scoffed. Mari put down her plate and took the takoyaki pan off the heat. If he was going to be a vampire asshole, he didn’t deserve her _delicious_ takoyaki. Ayato sat up. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m not cooking any more takoyaki if you’re going to be a dick to Yui. Plus, it’s almost third block. We need to go to Japanese.” 

“Hah?! She deserves to be made fun of if she’s being stupid.” 

“Mhm. Okay. I want to graduate someday, so we should get to class.” Ayato huffed. 

“Since you’re not gonna cook anymore, you should at least feed me. Give me your blood.” Mari stared him down. 

“I’ll kill you if you make me pass out,” she promised him, quiet steel in her voice. He rolled his eyes, clearly not believing her. She narrowed her eyes at him and passed him her wrist, bracing herself for the pain. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it did, but she supposed that vampires didn’t make a regular habit of filing their teeth. Sharper teeth would mean a cleaner entrance and all that, but these dicks probably didn’t care. Actually, scratch that, they were likely all sadists. 

Ayato’s eyes flicked up to her, and he seemed a little disappointed by whatever expression was on her face. Definitely a sadist, then. Yui stood by the door to the kitchen, looking a little uncomfortable because of what was happening in front of her. _Ah, damn,_ Mari thought. _They’re definitely going to target Yui._

Mari would fight anyone who dared.


	3. School Shenanigans!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari and Yui and their adventures at Night School!

Okay, so, everyone that wrote vampire fanfiction was both right and wrong about how it feels to get your blood sucked, Mari decided. She rubbed the bandage over her wrist, savouring the sting. It hurt like hell, and she knew she would hate it later when the bite marks scabbed over, but for now it was. An interesting feeling. A familiar feeling. She put her hand down. When she got back to the mansion, she was going to have to burn something. These motherfuckers weren’t going to make her rebound without her putting up a fight. 

She couldn’t believe that she had most of her classes with the triplets. Laito, the creepy one that gave her rapist vibes, was on her left, and apparently he’d watched her rub her wrist. His eyebrows were up, and she wondered where she’d have to kick him in order for him to stop making that face. 

She raised her hand and asked to go to the bathroom. Time to see if this damn school had anything interesting in it, and a bonus for getting out of class. When she slipped out of her desk, she noticed Laito’s eyebrows climbing higher on his face and she curled her lip. Did he think she was leaving to do something naughty? 

“Stupid vampire bitch,” she grumbled as she left, knowing that he would hear her. Sure enough, behind her, she heard him make an offended noise, followed by a snort from Ayato. Kanato, thank god, had fallen asleep halfway through the lecture, otherwise he might have hunted her down and turned her into a doll or something.

\---

None of the phones worked. Mari was only okay with this because she still had her own cellphone (it was hidden well and she doubted any of the Vampire Bros™ would care enough to look between her mattress for it), but she knew that Yui would be upset. The poor girl’s cellphone was smashed to bits right in front of her. But, yeah, none of the phones worked, and there were too many stairs in this damn school. Also, apparently the Vampire Bros™ were not the only vampires in the school because she’d encountered not one, but _four_ dudes with the same vibes as the Sakamakis.

Was it a vampire thing to skip class? Maybe. 

As far as she knew, the Vampire Total™ was now at twelve. There was the Shuu, AKA Lazy Mans; Reiji, AKA Glasses Guy; The Triplets, AKA Bitch1, Bitch2, and Bitch3; and Subaru, AKA Angery Morals for the Sakamaki Brothers. She didn’t know the names of the four new vampires she’d encountered yet, but she already nicknamed them Book Boy, Idol, L o r g e, and Kinda Creepy. 

(When L o r g e Vampire wasn’t looking, she’d stolen his backpack and made off with it, winking at Idol Vampire when he’d just smirked at her. She made a promise to herself to pay him back in some way that wasn’t blood. Maybe she’d try her hand at some cupcakes—vampires seemed to enjoy sweets and snacks, for whatever reason.)

She wandered around the school for a little longer, ducking under classroom windows to make sure that no one (_Reiji_) saw her outside of class. Halfway into her wandering, she found herself at the front doors of the school. She stared at them for a moment, wondering what would happen to her if she decided to make a run for it. Behind her, she could practically feel one of those bastards smirking at her back as though daring her to do it. She sighed and turned around, making a mental note to tell Yui not to be an idiot. 

Unfortunately for her, Yui’s survival instincts were practically nonexistent, and she found the girl in the clinic no less than an hour later. 

“Damnit, Yui,” she sighed and took her hand, determined to stay at her bedside until the next bell rang so that none of the Vampire Assholes™ could touch her—at least, not anymore than they already had, she thought, noting the bite marks already on her neck. From what she knew of the brothers, she wouldn’t put it past them to assault Yui in her sleep, and no matter how tired she was because of the weird change in her sleep schedule, she’d be damned if one of them got past her. The next few minutes stretched, Mari’s eyelids drooping because of the late hour even as she stubbornly forced herself to stay awake.

A minute before the bell rang, she heard someone clearing their throat behind her and turned. Fuck. It was Reiji. She stood, dropping Yui’s hand in order to stand and bow to him properly in greeting. Something like approval and disappointment flickered in his eyes before he inclined his head at her. What the hell? Was he hoping that she’d be rude to him? Her mother had raised her with manners, damnit! He gestured to Yui, oblivious of her thoughts. 

“I will take her back to the house because I have a free period next. Go to class, Ms. Erdem.” She nodded at him and bowed again as she left, wary of leaving Yui alone with a vampire but having no choice. At least Reiji seemed like the most reserved of the brothers, but she knew better than to trust him. He was still a vampire, and it’s always the quiet ones, after all.

\---

She had overestimated her own ability to stay awake and was swaying with exhaustion when the last bell of the day finally rang. _Thank god,_ she thought, rubbing her eyes and shoveling her books into the backpack she’d stolen from the L o r g e Vampire. As tired as she was, she thought nothing of grabbing Yui’s hand as she trudged back to the limousine, forgetting that Yui had already gone back to the mansion.

Kou stared at the girl that had grabbed his hand, amused when he heard her mutter someone else’s name. He was no stranger to random girls grabbing him, but this was the first time someone had mistaken him for someone else entirely. At first, he had trouble placing why she seemed so familiar—he was approached by lots of girls everyday because of his status as a popular idol—then he saw the familiar backpack and it clicked. He snickered into his other hand, letting her pull him along, curious as to where this little thief could be headed. 

When he saw the purebloods, however, his good mood evaporated like smoke, and he pulled his hand out of hers. At the abrupt change, she turned to him in confusion, her eyes widening when she realized that _This Is Not Yui Komori, Oh Fuck_. Then, her eyes widened more when she realized that she’d held hands with a _vampire_.

“Little thief,” he said softly, glaring at the purebloods. Mari cocked her head, finding it funny that they had both given each other nicknames. 

“Idol,” she responded back without thinking, internally screaming at herself when he eyed her curiously, an amused glint in his eyes. When his gaze turned back to the Vampire Brothers™, however, his face went cold again. 

“Are you staying with these stuck-up bastards?” When she nodded, his lip curled and he pushed her towards them, turning and striding away without looking back, pausing only to call over his shoulder, “I expect something in return for the backpack, little thief!” She rolled her eyes, deciding that he didn’t deserve cupcakes and would be getting spaghetti, instead. 

Mari trudged over to the Sakamaki Bros, her tiredness returning with a vengeance, and she responded to their questions about the person she was just with with monotone answers and sighs, too sleepy to bother with anything else. 

Hopefully she’d adapt to this whole night school thing, but right now, she just focused on… staying… awake… 

She fell asleep on the ride home, her head on Subaru’s shoulder. (He resolutely ignored her, glaring out of the window and twitching when she started to drool on him.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr! @soulofstarstungl


	4. Oops! Mari's In Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari gets questioned about why she was seen with Kou

Mari Erdem woke up with a crick in her neck and a cramp in her lower back. She opened her eyes slowly, unsurprised to find herself in the empty limousine. She peeked out the window, relieved to see that it wasn’t very long after sunset, but still pissed that she’d been left in the car all day. Those motherfuckers didn’t even move her to her bed! 

She fumbled for the door handle, wondering which part of the grounds she was on. She hoped they wouldn’t look for her and that she’d be left alone to wander the mansion while they thought she was still asleep. Unfortunately for her, she had been locked in and the car alarm was on. Six brothers simultaneously jumped at the sound of honking, only one of them shaking his head at the sound. 

_Looks like she’s finally awake._

Like some weird pack of bloodsucking dogs, all six brothers were standing in a rough semicircle when she exited the limousine, the car alarm turning off with a sheepish _beep!_ She bowed awkwardly at them, holding her slowly-healing wrist behind her. 

She glanced at the growing dark around them, the vampire assholes just staring at her unnervingly. The silence stretched. 

“Good evening…?” She tried, begging Reiji’s impeccable manners to save her. His only response was an icy glare, but thankfully Ayato’s loud mouth broke the silence. 

“Tch. There was a reason we left you in the car, idiot. What were you doing with that half-breed?” She frowned, confused. Half-breed? Did vampires have racism? She thought about how stupid that was—that a supposed ‘higher species’ had racism, just like humans. Eventually, Ayato grew impatient with her lack of response and stepped forward threateningly. “Haa? What do you have to say for yourself, idiot girl?” She pinched the bridge of her nose the way she’s seen Reiji do whenever Ayato spoke and sighed, feeling a little smug when she noted Reiji's surprise. Imitation is the best form of flattery, after all. 

“I was just—I forgot that Yui had already returned here, and I thought he was Yui. I apologize for any inconvenience I caused you because of the sudden change in sleep schedules.” She said formally, bowing low. Of course, she didn’t really mean any of it. The Idol Vampire was interesting, and he’d allowed her to get away with stealing his brother’s backpack instead of yelling at her for it. Really, all of this was just an act to make Reiji step in. She stayed like that, her upper body nearly parallel to the floor as she bowed, counting the seconds. ...7 ... 8 ...9 ...10 ...11 ...12 ...13... 

She was starting to think he might not do anything, and silently begged him to let her stop bowing. Her back hurt! Just accept the damn apology! 

“Don’t let it happen again,” she heard finally, and mentally cheered. She straightened up and nodded at him, internally cackling at the begrudged approval in his eyes. 

“Thank you.” 

“Ugh. Teddy, that nasty woman is being too fake. Do you think she thinks that we’ll let her go if she keeps apologizing? She caused so much trouble and she hasn’t even given us her blood yet!” Kanato told his bear, his eyes sliding to her. She felt foreboding wash over her like an oil spill, inhaling sharply at the way he licked his lips. 

Around her, the rest of the brothers’ lips parted just enough for her to see the gleam of fangs, and she found it ridiculous that they were apparently willing to put on such a show for her, even as her heart beat a little faster. She sighed and offered up her uninjured arm, baring her own teeth at Laito when the pervert moved as though he was going to drop to his knees and bite her _somewhere else_. 

“If you touch me anywhere below the waist, I’ll fucking castrate you,” she hissed to him, taking satisfaction at the way he winced and covered his family jewels, even unconsciously taking a step back. 

“Such threats are unbecoming of a lady,” Reiji noted offhandedly, biting into her wrist without warning, pleased when she flinched minutely. He glared at Shuu when he placed himself behind her, tilting her head with a hand to gain access to her neck. Mari just sighed and resigned herself to becoming a vampire pincushion and passing out tonight. 

_Maybe I’ll be able to skip school,_ she thought idly as the other Vampire Bros™ crowded around her like the leeches they were, all searching for a place to bite her. _Reiji would probably “punish” me for it later, though. Asshole._ Her eyes flicked to him, then away when she realized he was watching her. Actually, everyone but Shuu seemed to be trying to make eye contact with her as though they were puppies starved for affection. _Fucking weirdos..._

She looked over them again, trying not to move too much to keep the pain in her neck (literally) from biting down too hard, and realized that she didn’t see Subaru. Mari frowned and moved her gaze to the mansion, not finding him anywhere in sight. Was he okay? She only really had her own theories to go off of for vampire health, but she was pretty sure that not drinking blood was a bad sign… 

Slowly, but surely, she felt herself becoming lightheaded. _I don’t think this is good for my heart,_ was her last thought before she passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :P


	5. Mari Has A Knife And Will Use It >:3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari has a knife and will use it to carry through with her threats >:3c

_Well,_ thought Mari, squinting outside. It was bright as midday which, while worrying for her sleep schedule, at least meant she’d slept through school. She was about to turn over and try to go back to sleep when a thought occurred to her. A little scared of what she would find, she checked under the covers to find that she was in a nightgown instead of her school uniform.

“What the fuck?” she said aloud. One of those fuckers had changed her clothes in her sleep! She shuddered, sitting up and patting herself down just to make sure that, aside from the bites, none of those assholes had tried anything. 

...There was a bite mark on her upper thigh. Mari took a deep breath, then let it out slowly, ruthlessly repressing the urge to break something. 

_That perverted piece of—_ she took another deep breath and counted to ten before finally letting it out. Mari took stock of the room, searching for anything sharp (or anything she could make sharp) that she could use to _castrate_ that motherfucker. That hair brush might work in a pinch, maybe, if she pulled the plastic on the handle apart and snapped it, but something sharper was definitely preferable. Then, her face lit up. 

She looked around the room as casually as she could, pretending that she wasn’t looking for any sneaky bloodsuckers hiding in the shadows, then reached into her pillowcase and pulled the pillow out. Carefully, she leveraged open the slightly loose seams on one side and reached into the stuffing, feeling for cold metal. 

_Where is - maybe it got moved a little? Did it get taken-? There!_ Triumphantly, she pulled free a whole ass knife—one of the cool chromatic ones—and pulled the stitching on the pillow shut, stuffing it back into the pillowcase and arranging it so that it looked exactly like it did before. 

With a devilish smirk on her face, she flicked open the knife and checked the blade to make sure it was sharp, then got out of bed with the intention of finding Bitch3’s room and planting the knife right between his legs while he slept. She wouldn’t touch him—he’d likely wake up and kill her on the spot—but she could certainly make it so that if he even so much as rolled over in his sleep, his most precious parts would be done for. 

It did briefly occur to her that he wasn’t behind the marks on her thigh, but after comparing them with the bite marks she knows for a fact he _did_ leave, her plan was set in stone. She closed the knife and slipped it into her bra, planning to claim she was simply going to the bathroom if anyone happened to be awake. 

Mari opened her door, scanned the hallway, and stepped outside only when she determined that no one was lying in wait for her like a weirdo. She didn’t look hard enough, apparently, because—

“What do you think you’re doing?” It was Reiji, his voice like a whip as he appeared from gods know where. She winced internally, then turned to him and bowed in greeting, making sure her face was set firmly in surprise and not the bitterness of a plan gone wrong. 

“I’m just going to the bathroom; I just woke up. You’re—I didn’t know you were still awake.” He eyed her like he knew she was up to something, his eyes flicking to a door on their right, then simply nodded and turned away. 

“Don’t get lost along the way,” he called over his shoulder as he left, amusement snaking its way into his words. She blinked at his back. Was that… permission? Was he giving her permission to do exactly what she’d promised to do earlier? Or was it a warning? She squinted at his retreating form, then turned and headed straight for the bathroom. Just in case. 

She used the toilet and washed her hands, doing her best to make it seem like she really was just going to the bathroom. When she finished and wandered back into the hallway, there was no one in sight, so she made a beeline towards the door Reiji had glanced at. On the door, there was a golden plaque engraved with the words “Laito Sakamaki”. Her lips quirked upwards. 

So this was the rich version of those fun “_____’s Room!” signs. She wondered if any of the brothers had ever taped a “No Girls Allowed!!!” sign under their little plaques and had to suppress a laugh at the mental image. 

Calling upon years of experience sneaking out of the house, she tried the door handle, relieved to find that it wasn’t locked and, better yet, barely made a sound as the handle turned. As slowly as she possibly could, she eased open the door, glad that the hinges didn’t squeak. Whoever was in charge of oiling the hinges was doing a fantastic job. For all her stealth, however, she knew that the longer she lingered, the more likely she was to get caught, and headed directly to the bed rather than taking the time to look around like she wanted to. 

This next part was going to be the riskiest. 

Slowly, she opened her knife, gratified when it opened silently without even a whisper of friction between metal on metal, making sure not to open the knife all the way to ensure that it didn’t _click_ when the blade locked into place. Then, just as slowly, she pressed it into the mattress right between that asshole’s legs. It was sharp enough that it went in with barely any coaxing or pressure from her, but she still held her breath until it was right where she wanted it to be. 

She was still holding her breath when she stole from the room and closed the door silently behind her, not at all surprised to find Reiji standing a few steps away with his arms crossed when she turned back around. She bowed to him, her lips twitching upwards before she settled her face into what she hoped was a neutral expression. 

“You got lost on the way?” He questioned, eyebrows raised. Mari inclined her head. 

“I forgot the way back,” she said with a straight face, and he nodded knowingly. 

“Follow.” Mari fought the urge to laugh the entire five steps they took to get to her door, where Reiji left her after she thanked him. She settled back into bed and fell asleep easily soon afterwards, eagerly looking forward to being awoken by Laito’s pained shrieks. 

_Honestly,_ Reiji thought, shaking his head as he headed back towards his bedroom. _It’s about time someone taught Laito that his actions have consequences. I did warn him after she passed out._ He thought about the way Mari had moved without making a sound, almost like she was one of them, and his eyes narrowed. He’d helped her today (and wreaked havoc on his own sleep schedule, to his annoyance) to see if she could deliver on her threats, but he hadn’t expected her to be quite so good at sneaking about, not to mention lying. 

He’d originally written her off as just another useless bride, but after he’d seen what she was capable of, he decided to keep an eye on her. Her skill at stealth was worrying and potentially dangerous, but… He smirked. The potential uses for it were endless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:3


	6. Spaghetti alle Vongole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari accidentally makes Kou Mukami's favourite food! Somehow!

Mari had almost forgotten about the spaghetti she was supposed to make in return for the backpack she’d stolen, but, thankfully, seeing Yui that evening when Laito’s panicked screaming woke everyone up reminded her. 

“Shit!” She said aloud, ignoring Laito screaming about his dick. “I have to make spaghetti!” Everyone else eyed her like she was speaking a foreign language, but no one had the chance to question it before she was striding off to the kitchens, muttering about pasta. 

In a house as fancy as this, Mari had at least expected the Sakamakis to have spaghetti sauce. Or tomatoes. Or literally anything she could use to make spaghetti sauce from scratch if she was creative enough. She cussed quietly, the kitchen looking like a tornado had blown through it, yet there was not a single tomato or tomato based thing in sight. Hell, she would even take ketchup at this point. (Wherever he was, Karlheinz sneezed. Someone must have mentioned him.) 

Out of desperation, she flipped through a cookbook sitting on one of the countertops and paused on the only dish remotely resembling pasta. 

“Spaghetti alle Vongole?” She read aloud. Of course these rich assholes would have a recipe like this and not one for spaghetti. The book said it was a common dish, but she had her doubts. She mourned for the deliciousness of homemade, _normal_ spaghetti, but she supposed that some pasta was better than none at all. 

It looked like it would take about thirty minutes to cook, and luckily for her, she still had about 40 minutes before they left for school, so she started looking for all the ingredients the recipe called for. It took her a minute or so, but when she found them all, she just sighed. 

Of course. Of course the Sakamaki Bros™ would have all the ingredients for this but not normal spaghetti. 

Time passed quickly after that as she lost herself in cooking. At some point, Yui came in to see if she was actually making spaghetti and stayed until Mari nearly burned herself because she was laughing too hard at Yui’s recounting of her first time riding a bike to pay attention to her pan. 

When she was finally done, she looked over her creation with pride and picked up a clean fork to taste-test, relieved that it tasted as good as it looked. Mari checked the time and transferred the pasta into a lunchbox, closing the lid and happily noting that it would still be warm when they got to school. Idol had better appreciate the effort that went into this, or she would probably take it back and eat it for him when he wasn’t looking. 

She realized that she’d forgotten something important in the wake of her hyper-focused cooking when she slid into the limousine with the Sakamaki Bros™ and Yui, lunchbox in hand. Laito was very notably not present, and the rest of the vampires were looking at her. It was… very quiet. She decided that making eye contact with her lunchbox was the only safe option, and kept her expression as moderately happy as possible. Eventually, it was Subaru who broke the silence. 

“...Not that I care, but where the hell did you get a knife?” She looked up at him, her brow furrowed in confusion. 

“A knife?” She asked, doing her best to sound puzzled. 

“Cut the shit,” Ayato snapped. “We know you snuck into Laito’s room and put a knife exactly where he would cut himself on it.” Mari and Yui both frowned at his accusing tone, though for different reasons. As though she was processing his words, Mari let her expression slowly clear into one of realization, followed quickly by horror.

“Is that why he was—? This morning, his—?” She made a chopping motion, her voice dripping with surprise and horror. The Sakamaki Bros™ all winced at the reminder, then swapped glances. Her surprise seemed genuine. Maybe she really had nothing to do with it? Even Reiji, who had literally watched her sneak into Laito’s room and plant the knife, was suddenly doubting his own memory. 

_Impressive acting,_ he thought. Not even her heartbeat was giving anything away; it was as steady as ever. She was definitely someone to watch out for. 

The rest of the car ride was silent.

* * *

“Idol!” Kou heard someone calling. He turned and grinned at the sight of Mari, his eyes a little darker than usual. 

“Little thief,” he purred. “I couldn’t find you yesterday. Did you forget that you owe me?” His smile was a little too wide, but Mari pretended she didn’t see it as the warning it was and held out the lunchbox. 

“Nope! Actually, I was kinda forced to stay home,” she laughed, relieved when he relaxed a bit. “They weren’t very happy with me for talking to you, but we sorted it out!” She tilted her head a little so his attention would be directed to her neck and tapped the bite mark there, and, though his expression darkened, all the tension in his posture was gone. She’d guessed he was a favor-for-a-favor kind of guy yesterday, but she hadn’t thought he’d be quite so emotional about it. Maybe being a vampire made one more hormonal? His voice brought her out of her thoughts. 

“What is this?” He asked curiously, his eyes on her as he waited for an answer instead of just opening the box as she was sure the other vampires would have. 

“I made you pasta! Spaghetti alle V-something, I think. I’ve never made it before, but it was the only pasta recipe I could find in that stupid cookbook.” She grinned at him. “It should still be warm; I made it just this morning!” Idol’s—she should probably ask him about his name at some point—expression did something funny before settling on surprise, his shoulders suddenly tense again. 

“Spaghetti alle Vongole?” When she nodded happily, he frowned, and her smile faltered. 

“Should I have made cupcakes instead?” She asked hesitantly. “That was my first thought, but after I realized that we’d both made nicknames for each other, I decided on spaghetti, except we didn’t have tomatoes, and this was the only pasta recipe in the kitchen cookbook, so I tried my best to make it just like the recipe said, but if you don’t like it, I can just make something else-?” He cut her rambling short with a soft laugh, and her face flushed with embarrassment. 

“It’s fine,” he said, a small smile on his face. Dealing with embarrassed fangirls was nearly second nature to him by now, and he relaxed completely. He was back in his element. “It’s just that you made my favourite food,” he told her, his expression brightening when he opened the lunchbox. Mari blinked, surprised. She could have sworn she heard a swarm of people furiously taking notes from just behind the corner, but that could have just been her imagination. 

“I made—Oh! So, you _do_ like it, and I _don’t_ need to make red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting?” She asked as though she was just making sure, though her eyes twinkled mischievously. He paused and eyed her warily. He lowered his voice. 

“What do you want in return?” She grinned at him, and his wariness increased twofold. 

“How well can you bake?” Mari asked him. His eyebrows twitched. Why would she ask-? 

“You want me to bake red velvet cupcakes with you? As in, together?” His tone was heavy with disbelief. The sounds of furious note-taking stopped. “Why?” 

“Well, I still don’t know your name yet, but you have good vibes, and I think it would be fun!” Mari tilted her head. “Also, it’s a little bit of payback,” she added quietly, pulling up her sleeve a little to show him the slowly healing wounds. He frowned at the sight. 

“Let me get this straight, they used you as a blood bag after they saw me talking to you, and now you want to bake with me? Are you dumb?” She shrugged, a little stung by his reaction, but she understood why he would react that way. 

“They can hardly punish me when I’m just hanging out with a friend, especially if I bring home snacks.” 

“You do realize-” he started, but was cut off by Yuma yelling from the other end of the hallway. 

“HEY! ARE YOU THE ONE WHO STOLE MY BAG???” Mari flashed a grin at Idol—gods, she really needed to figure out his name—and dashed away, only pausing to get the last word.

“Just think about it!” She called over her shoulder as she made her escape, disappearing into the crowd like a raindrop falling into the ocean. Kou just sighed and started walking to class, not answering Yuma when he caught up to him and asked where the hell she went. He thought about their conversation for awhile and realized that she’d called him her friend, yet she didn’t even know his name. He shook his head with a wry smile. What a weird girl. 

He tried the pasta before class started. It was… really good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr @soulofstarstungl

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you want me to continue this! And toss out ideas, please! I'm writing this to have a good time lol


End file.
